Interviewer: So Capler, tell us all about your day with the Reids and Shaggy at Carowinds.

Capler: Well I actually started preparing for this encounter a long time before the day arrived.

Interviewer: What do you mean?

Capler: I was really excited when Kevin told me they were coming some weeks ago. As the day approached I became more excited and a little nervous at the same time, sort of like a schoolgirl on the day before the prom.

Interviewer: What really caused you to feel this way?

Capler: I was excited because I felt that I have known them forever on URC. There are so few of us still around from the early days and for me to finally get a chance to meet such "royalty" was really special. Hey, these guys are celebrities in their own right, and the fact that they were interested in meeting little me just kind of left me awestricken. How many people can say that people traveled from across the country and from a foreign country just to meet them?

Interviewer: Don't you think that is a little presumptuous of you to say that they came just to meet you? And besides when did Canada become a foreign country?

Capler: Hey, it makes me feel good to think so, and I do consider Canada a foreign country considering that I have never been there. All week I have been telling my friends that I know TV celebrities and they are coming to hang out and have fun with me.

Interviewer: You sure don't get out much much. So Capler, why were you nervous about the visit aside from the fact that you would be meeting greatness?

Capler: Now that it is all over and was very successful, I can admit that the idea of meeting someone from the Internet terrified me. I have friends who have met girls on there and arranged meeting. Instead of looking like Janet Jackson, (the way they said they looked), they looked more like Jessie Jackson. Therefore, I was under the impression that nothing good could come from meeting people from there. Boy was I wrong though.

Interviewer: Did you go through any special preparations for your once in a life time meeting?

Capler: I got the car checked out and had an oil change on Friday because I live about 85 miles from the park. I did not want the car to break down, (even though it never has), and cause me to miss my meeting. I also got all my hair cut off. I was not really trying to look younger but I was just long over due. I had the cut the afro puffs off because I did not want to look like a radical black panther when they met me for the first time.

Interviewer: So you are saying that your appearance was an issue for you? Don't you think that you should give people a little more credit.

Capler: I know that I should but I have had some experiences in life where people assumed that I was one thing and discovered I was something else when they met me. I know that it is not my problem but I just don't like surprising people. I once witnessed the color go right out of some one's face when they discovered that I was black. "Well you don't sound very black" was the response I got. To this day I'm not really sure how black people are supposed to sound. I actually sound just like my father and like me he is black as the night is long. It is the reason I took the opportunity last week to tell MontuMax to look for a black guy wearing and Elvis cap. I was not very sure how many on the board knew this about me, even though I have mentioned it on occasions.

Interviewer: This is getting to be a little too much information for a Trip Report. Maybe we should steer this little horse back into the barn and stay focused on your day at the park with the Reids, Shaggy and MontuMax. This is what people are waiting to read. Can we do that Capler?

Capler: Ok, but can we do it later because it is lunch time and I'm hungry now.

Interviewer: Well I guess we will have to do a part two.

PART TWO

Interviewer: Capler are you sure the Reids and Shaggy were in the park that day? At this point you have given no indication that they were.

Capler: You bet they were there. As a matter of fact I got a chance to spend some one on one time with each of them. While Shaggy, Kevin and the boys were riding the carousel, Donna and I got an opportunity to really bond. You see, Shaggy and Kevin went hog wild over the park's carousel. They were really fascinated by the fact that it had three lead horses and that the stationary horses were on the inside row. I just figured it was that way because the park had replaced the original horses years ago and the park people did not know what they were doing. Then I remembered that this particular carousel was not the one I was thinking of. The horses were replaced on the other one and not this particular one. As a matter of fact the original horses are all over the Carolinas now because the park gave them away to employees. Carowinds donated the carousel back to the little town in Germany where it had began life. The people of the little German town have since decided that they want the original horses back as well. They made a plea to the local community for the horses and the horses have been popping up everywhere; garages, attics, bedrooms, flower gardens...The town people have offered to send you one of the fake Carowinds made fiberglass horses if they would let them have the original.

Interviewer: Are you going to let the Germans have your horse? I know you must have one of the them because I can feel that you are about to go somewhere with this.

Capler: You are right and wrong this time. I don't have one of the horses but I am going to expand on the topic. But if I did have one of the horses, I would let them have it back. This is not really about carousels Germans and horses, but instead about Donna.

Interviewer: Donna?

Capler: You see, I first caught up with the gang at the Flying Super Saturator. My introduction to Donna consisted of a polite hello and a handshake. I was really a bit distracted because after our introduction Donna adverted her attention back to what she was doing before I arrive.

Interviewer: That would be?

Capler: Wringing water out of Kevin's boxer shorts.

Interviewer: Get out of here!

Capler: Yeap, she was standing there with his soaked boxers in her hands. I knew that the Super Saturator would get you wet, but I have to say that this takes it to a whole new level. I was more puzzled than shocked because I was wondering how in the world did Kevin get the shorts off in such a public place.

Interviewer: You care to clue us in?

Capler: I don't have a clue, but I do have theory.

Interviewer: We can't wait for this one.

Capler: You ever see the movie Flashdance? If you have then there is a famous scene where the girl takes off her bra without removing her shirt. I think Kevin may have done his boxers that way.

Interviewer: That's so stupid. No one can take off their drawers without first taking off their pants. It is just not humanly possible.

Capler: I know this, but apparently Kevin has found a way. Maybe the Reids are not human. Weren't the Cone Heads from Saturday Night Live for Canada. Didn't they film 3rd Rock and X files in Canada as well?

Interviewer: Aren't you supposed to be discussing carousels and Donna and not Kevin's boxers?

Capler: Oh yeah. After dissecting the carousel and taking no less than 50 pictures of it. , Kevin, Shaggy, Adam and Nolan jumped on for a ride. I guess Donna did not find it very interesting so she just sat on the sidelines and watched. As I watched the horses go round and round, I began to recall a memory of long past. You see, I began to realize that this was the closest that I have ever allowed myself to get to a carousel. Like many issues that trouble the soul, I quickly attempted to force the memory back to a time and place that I had long forgotten. To make myself feel better, I told myself that carousels are for kids and they are not very fun. I went to the bench and sat down beside Donna. I guess Donna noticed that I was a bit troubled and wondered why I was not riding. At that moment I began to talk about a situation the happened years ago. You see growing up in rural North Carolina, the county fair was about the only thing we had to look forward too. I guess I was about 4 or five years old when my parents promised to take us. I remember as a child that I was really excited, we talked about it for weeks before the day arrived. Being the youngest I made plans to ride everything with my brother and sister. Unfortunately it did not work out that way. You see, the first ride we came upon at the fair was the carousel. I guess my parents figured it would be a harmless first time ride for us. My brother and sister squealed with excitement and waited eagerly for my parents to buy the three of us tickets. I just stood there and watched the horses go round and round. It was like I was in a trance, round and round. I recall thinking there was something just plain evil about this thing. Multi-colored horses wearing coats of armor, others with single horns protruding from the tops of their heads. There was fire in their eyes as they kept going round and round. My parents gave the attendant the tickets and my brother and sister eagerly jumped on. I had already decided that I was having no part of it when my father nudged me forward. I did not move. He did it again and I started bawling. At that point my father decided that he was going to drag me onto the thing because I was holding up the ride. At that point I did what any 4-year-old would do, I collapsed onto the ground kicking, screaming and wailing. It was not a pretty sight. My father threaten to take us all back home because I guess he was just a little embarrassed. He didn't though, and the rest of the family went on to have a pretty good time. Myself, I just moped around the rest of the evening covered from head to toe in carnival dirt. Since that day I have never ridden a carousel.

Interviewer: Please pass the box of tissue.

Capler: Donna found that story pretty interesting and went on to ask me about my personality.

Interviewer: Is Donna a shrink?

Capler: I don't know, I did not ask. She told me coaster enthusiast are a special bunch and that many share similar traits. Many are attracted to the hobby as an escape to an otherwise harsh reality. I told her how I use to daydream about coasters as far back as I could remember. She told me that Shaggy and I have that in common. She went on to talk about some of the other enthusiast they have met. She said that AtlantaCoaster is a really, really nice guy and that he went all out of his way to make them feel welcome at his homepark. She encouraged me to pay him a visit.

Interviewer: So you and Donna hit it off pretty well.

Capler: Yeah we did. I went with her to find little Nolan some chicken fingers and fries. Canadians like to put strange things on their chips and fires. Adam told me about bar-b-que covered fries and ketchup flavored potato chips. When Donna discovered that they had no ranch dressing to go on the fires, I went to another restaurant and tried to get some. They didn't have any either so I felt kind of bad. Yeah, we had lots of fun until I had to flex my muscle later in the day.

Interviewer: Oh no, I have been waiting for the real Capler to emerge. All right what did you do to mess up a really good day.

Capler: Well several times throughout the day we kept passing a little bowling ball game. You know the one where you put your money into the slot to release the ball. Your goal is to roll the ball over a little hill into a valley and hope that it stays. Any way Donna tried this many times throughout the day but had no luck. I bet she spent about $100 dollars. Finally I decided to take matters into my own hands and show her how it is done. I won little Nolan a wizard hat after only one attempt.

Interviewer: Are you implying that Donna failed as mother by not being able to win her youngest child Nolan a wizard hat?

Capler: Don't you think that is a little harsh Mr. Interviewer, after all she did try.

Interviewer: I suggest you move right alone with these puesdo-trip reports because the Reids and Shaggy are going to be home soon and they are going to come after you.

Capler: I will worry about tomorrow, tomorrow; but today the board is all mine. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha